Continuing with the mess left by my last ex-girlfriend, I had actually given up most hope in looking for love and decided to make the most of my single state. It was a highly liberating time, as it made me realize there was more to life than just looking for that someone, in my own words, “to share my sunsets with”. As a result, I have found myself bouncing around the place, such as hosting a yearly concert with one friend in Baguio, hosting another gig with my friends in Angeles City and spending time with yet another friend in Laguna. Guess the single lifestyle has an accelerator pedal packaged with it after all.

During a recent chit-chat with one of our clients, I mentioned that I officially had a crush on one of the people working at TrendLabs. As Valentine’s Day was fast approaching then, out of the blue I took the rather unusual step of giving her a present in anonymous fashion (the “secret admirer” kind of thing). With coordination from her boss, I bought her present and left it to the guard for it to then be deposited on her desk.

On my way to Baguio for the gig my friend had organized, I checked with her boss and she mentioned the gift got more attention than expected. At last, a small success for me, I chuckled.

I revealed my identity as the mysterious donor when I came back to work the following Monday. When asked why I gave her a present, I could only muster a feeble reply:

“Because I wanted to see you smile… ”

This was pretty much how I was when I answered her question. That goes for handing over the Valentine's gift, too.

Cheesy? Hell yeah. I must have had those hearts in my eyes like what happens to those crush-stricken characters in anime.

The next week, I gave her a jar of peanut brittle, which she thanked me for as well.

Currently, I have engaged her on occasional chit-chat although for questions and other work-related clarifications, I have often deferred to her other teammates for fear she would take it as stalking of some sort. In addition, I have avoided making the greetings a daily thing with her, both to avoid the stalking tag and to allow her to focus on her own rather heavy workload.

I had worked with her on some projects wherein I was a guest at her office months earlier, and oddly enough, it actually took me this long to acknowledge the crush thing. Guess I am still the late bloomer in life in some areas.

And after a recent dream I had (which is pretty significant when I think about it since I don’t even remember these on most days), I realize I have crushes on another two women I’ve recently met. Looks like I’m better off than I previously thought.

Could this be the beginning of something better for me? I’m not sure, really. I think quite often that karma may have been out to get me ever since I made those mistakes with the old flames I had in my life, and that I don’t deserve another try at being happy because of that.

Whatever happens, wherever the winds may take me, I’ll just have to enjoy the ride and see how it all goes from there. As my best friend once said:

“When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade.”

I sure hope I mix it right this time.